Dear 20 Years Old and Depressed
Dear Fabulous Marc,
I am an unfortunate individual trapped in the awkward age range of the 18-20 year old crowd. Most people just don’t realize how awkward it is for us to want a social life away from college but there is literally nothing to do and nowhere for us to go. Where are all the gay hangout spots for the 20 year olds like myself who want to hang with other LGBTQ people without being forced to hang out with 16 year olds? Why can’t certain LGBTQ clubs host an 18+ night so that we can go out too? It’s absolutely frustrating to spend summer after summer with no evening social life as an LGBTQ person, having to wait until the dreadful year that I turn 21. Seriously, if I can smoke, vote, pay taxes, pay student loans for college, and have consentual sex and be married, how come I can’t have an active nightlife as well? Are there any LGBTQ nightclubs that would be willing to host a night like this for us younger aged people who really crave to meet other younger LGTBQ people? I mean, the only way I’ll be entering a gay nightclub this year is when I leave this country-what a shame.
Sincerely,
20 Years Old and Depressed
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Dear 20 Years Old and Depressed,
Aww, to be 18 again and realize that there are just as many challenges being LGTBQ at that age as their are at any age. I hear this from many of my clients, both under 20 and over 20. There are many people who do not want to socialize in the bars for a variety of reasons. There are just not a lot of options other than bars to get together with other LGTBQ people. I am not bad mouthing the bars, they have always been part of our history and a supportive place where we can feel safe and meet others. I think just about anyone in Portland can speak of how the gay bars in town are almost like “Cheers”, where everyone knows your name and the bartenders are the best in the country. But what about other options to belong? Just like in the straight world, we want more choices of places to socialize.
So “20 Years Old and Depressed”, you started by coming to the right place. Fabulous PDX is the place to find anything queer to do in Portland area. I also would suggest the “Outreach” section in Just Out, under the section “Social”. Now even though I suggested these resources, I will admit that there is not much available for the under 21 crowd. I did a Google search and found the following:
-The Escape 333 Sw Park Ave, Portland OR., is an under 21 club in Portland and they are open on Friday and Saturday nights. Many of my readers say the music is very good and they have a good time there.
-SMYRC (http://www.smyrc.org), is the best place to find things to do for the 21 and under group.
-The Q Center has a great calendar which includes events for the under 21 crowd: (http://www.pdxqcenter.org/q-centers-calendar/public-calendar/) This calendar lists what’s going on at the Center and around the community including events like Karaoke Superstar, the 4th annual T*Party, Glee Night, Just Out, and Gay Skate.
Since you mentioned being old enough for consentual sex, “Steam Portland” has a freshman class party (18-23 year olds) the 4th Thursday of the month from 7p.m. to 12a.m.. Just remember to play safe! (http://www.steamportland.com/pop_up_red_freshman.htm)
Well, that’s what I have come up with and I am sure there is even more. Readers, any other suggestions?
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R. Marc Andrews is a counselor in Portland, Oregon specializing in gay male relationships and issues.
PLEASE READ CAREFULLY: This is an advice column. It should never take the place of therapy offered by a licensed professional. Neither R. Marc Andrews nor Fabulous PDX bears any liability for the advice given or your interpretation of it. If you need help, please contact 911
Tags: LGBTQ youth, social events, under 21
