By Bennie Tan, posted with his permission

Sam Storicks

Numb. That is what I’m feeling right now. I’m sitting here on my bed at 2:21 am on July 24th thinking, “What the FUCK just happened?!” I was going to try and get some sleep but I can’t. Sam Storicks, one of the most fantabulous people I’ve ever had the pleasure to know, passed away at 10:00pm last night, July 23, 2010.

I’ve been trying to process what just happened this past week. From him being found unconscious on Monday, July 19th to the recent, sudden turn for the worse. But all these thoughts keep swirling in my head. There is no head and no tail. No rhyme or reason. There are many mixed emotions. Disbelief at what just happened. I’m also really mad. And angry. And pissed off. And sad. I can’t think clearly. Being a writer, it occured to me to write everything down. It would help me process my thoughts and it would be my tribute to Sam.

I can’t stop asking the question, “Why?” Why do good people have to go so soon? Why do bad things happen to those who don’t deserve it? It didn’t seem like it was Sam’s time. Sam is so young, so full of life and vigor. It still doesn’t feel right.

But then sometimes, when a star is super bright and shiny, it burns out fast. And Sam was a super bright and shiny star. He was one of the brightest. He filled many of our lives with so much light and warmth.

I still can’t believe Scampers (his partner Greg’s nickname for Sam) is gone. I almost feel like at any moment now he’s going to get on Facebook and post, “Ha! Ha! You all have been punk’d!”

The last time I saw Sam was on the evening of Saturday, July 17th at my birthday gathering at the Eagle Portland. He was the first person I hugged when I got in the bar. Next person I hugged was Greg Kerr, Sam’s partner. We chatted for a bit and he seemed fine. I didn’t notice anything out of sorts. I now wished I had spent more time with him.

I have not known Sam for very long – perhaps a little over a year. We were not super close friends but in that short period of time, this guy has touched me in ways indescribable. I remember the first time I met him and Greg it was at the Eagle Portland at an Oregon Bears’ event. I think it was the “Boots ‘N’ Boxers” fundraiser for BearTown 14. They had just moved here from San Francisco and my friend Victor and I were trying to sell them raffle tickets. I was immediately struck by what a good looking couple they made and how happy they looked together.

Sam (l) and Greg (r)

I would then see both of them out together every now and then. This was when I had just started to get more involved with the Bears. Then along came the first Bearracuda Portland on July 18, 2009, my birthday eve. It was Sam’s idea to bring this furry San Francisco dance party to Portland. To say I was excited was an understatement. And on my birthday eve! It felt like it was a party all pre-planned for me. I had heard stories about Bearracuda and what a fun party it was and got roped into helping promote this event by the Bears. Subsequently, what was supposed to be a one shot event is now going to be a successful monthly event. Thank you, Sam, for talking Matt into bringing this party to Portland. This is part of your legacy to us Portlanders.

I really got to know Sam better from working to promote Bearracuda for the Oregon Bears. After we became Facebook friends, I really got an insight into this rambunctious young man’s life. If you have never experienced Sam on Facebook, you missed out. His pithy and humorous musings and observations were probably the most insightful, original, hilarious, spot on, and honest postings I have ever seen on Facebook. He didn’t care what people thought of him. Nothing was taboo. Topics ranged from the nasty, fat Ukrainian woman who read over his shoulder on a plane and wouldn’t leave him alone to how some people didn’t realize “they’re,” “there” and “their” all have different meanings. Many a time, his postings on Facebook were so funny, I’d find myself laughing out loud! I still can’t believe I won’t read anymore postings about “butt babies” or getting “mouth pregnant” or how it must be fleet week because he’s full of Greg’s seaman. Yeah, that’s how he rolled. Nothing was off limits.

Sam also had a bunch of what I can only best describe as “Sam-isms.” Things like, “Emotions are for poor people” or “Feel that L.A.? That’s me, all up in you.” Sam’s observations on life were also brutally honest. Often, he would say things many of us would have liked to say but were too afraid to. He did this in what I call his “Dear so-and-so, Love Sam” postings. Even I have tried to imitate this formula but they are never as good as his.

While his postings may shock many, they were never truly mean. They were accurate and honest observations on life. They were honest to a fault. I think that’s why some people were shocked by his Facebook postings. They were often about the truth – raw and uncensored. With Sam gone, Facebook just got a lot less entertaining.

To people who don’t know him, Sam may sometimes come off as a snarky wise cracker. However, if you ever had the pleasure to get to know him, you would immediately realize what an incredibly stand-up guy he was. This man had an incredible sense of integrity. He was very fair and knew what was right and what was wrong.

Sam was also extremely loyal and cared for his friends immensely. Having him as your friend was like having your own personal bodyguard ready to cut a bitch at a moment’s notice. In fact he relished face cutting bitches. One of my fondest memories of him is when he defended me after someone sent me hate mail saying it was “downright silly” that I considered myself a “bear.” Sam leapt to my defense, sent this guy an email and didn’t just cut the bitch; he chopped him up, cooked him up and fed it to his dog!!!

In fact, he and Greg were one of the first few people to openly call me Panda and accept me for who I am. There were times when if either one of them saw something panda related, they would post a picture or link on my Facebook page. This warmed my heart immensely knowing they cared enough to think about me every now and then. I even had the privilege of being referred to Sam’s “favorite Gay Panda.”

Sam was also extremely in love with Greg. I didn’t just know this from his constant proclamations on Facebook (such as the many times he was “attacked” by Greg in an attempt to get him butt pregnant) I could actually see the love in real life. They had a connection, a oneness that was undeniable. If one was without the other, it always felt like an incomplete set. If ever there was a perfect gay couple, they were it.

Sam also loved music. It only made sense then that he was a celebrated DJ. He had an uncanny acumen for good music and could spot a hit months before it became popular. There is no better example than the third set list from this past May’s Bearracuda PDX. On it are songs such as “Fever,” “Dancing On My Own,” “Rocket,” “Commander,” and “Acapella,” Two months later, these are the songs that DJs are finally starting to play.

Clap Your Hands for Sam

It is because of all these reasons and more that I created the “Clap Your Hands For Sam Storicks” page. Sam was a terrific friend and human being. When I found out on Tuesday that he was in the ICU, I was beside myself with worry. I felt helpless and listless. I had to do something for my beloved friend. But in the end, this page will turn into a celebration of Sam’s life. I hope it will remain for many years to come and people can share their thoughts and memories of this one-of-a-kind guy.

So every time you think of Sam, clap your hands. I know he would roll his eyes at you and call you stupid but maybe, just maybe, every time you clap, another fairy will gain a pair of wings and take flight.

Sam, the world is a less funny and a sadder place without you. I don’t know who else is ever going to “melt my face” or make me “poop my pants” with their music. No one else can walk into a bar and start cranking out the robot the way you do. No one else is going to cut a bitch the way you do. There is only one you. You are an original, a visionary, a genius.

As you yourself have often pointed out Sam, “I’m fucking fantastic.” Yes. Yes you are. And always will be.

Rest well Scampers. I will miss you more than you will ever know. See you on the other side and we’ll party together then.

Samuel Alan Storicks Jr
September 10, 1979-July 23, 2010

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